Ever had this experience?
You’re in the middle of a really hot sexual encounter. The energy has been building, you’ve tantalized each other, created so much charge you’re afraid your credit card company will notice, and you’re overall in the thick of it.
Sweat is flying, bodies writing, breath panting, she’s getting closer and closer… but you feel it coming. You try to hold it in and use all of your power to stop yourself…
But it happens again. You come before she does, and all the energy you’ve spent hours building seems to slip away like a rug pulled out from under your feet.
Dammit. Did I ruin it? Again?
This is one of the most common sexual situations men come to us about in our Sexual Self-Mastery training program.
We have a whole protocol that we train men in to learn what is called ejaculatory choice, but even when you think you’re applying all those tools, sometimes it can seem like control is beyond you.
So what do you do in those situations?
Here’s a few quick tips:
- Contrary to what you want to do (try to avoid the sensation to last longer) do everything you can to focus on the experience you’re having and live in it more fully.But that doesn’t just mean the sensation in your cock. Focus on the sound you’re making, how the REST of your body is feeling. Amp UP your movements in areas other than your pelvis.
The more engaged you can make the rest of your body the less pressure will concentrate in your pelvis. You can actually reach an energetic crescendo through other means (in other parts of your body) which will take the pressure off from you to crescendo down there.
- Release attachment to outcome.Oftentimes what really trips men up is their single-minded focus on their partner’s pleasure. If she has an orgasm, then I am good enough as a man. Let that go. It creates more pressure on you, making it more likely that what’s subconsciously driving your actions (fear she won’t enjoy herself) is going to become a reality.
- Switch activities.
If you’ve tried everything and it’s still seeming like Mr. Johnson needs to let off some steam, change the scenery. Take charge and flip her over. Start a new form of engagement (either stimulating her with other parts of your body, using a toy, or spanking her if she’s into that). Women can find it quite arousing to be brought up to the edge and then denied or eased back from it. They may beg you to keep going, and that’s part of the fun. You’ll continue when YOU want to.
Even if you haven’t taken the Sexual Self-Mastery Training, these tips should help you out quite a bit when you encounter this situation. Your success in life and your success in the bedroom rely on the same basic skill: Wise application of focus. And if you want to go deeper, a wide set of tools are available to you through this training. Through diligent and curious application of the tools you learn through the Sexual Self-Mastery training, you can achieve not only ejaculatory choice, but full-body energetic orgasms, non-ejaculatory orgasms, and even male multiple orgasm (yes, it’s possible for men). And be respectful of the time it can take to translate these tools to your sexual partner(s). Each sexual dynamic is different and may require a unique application or combination of these tools.
Learn more about our S3xual Self-Mastery Training here.